My Baptism

Today I was baptized in my backyard hottub surrounded by not so much a cloud of witnesses, as a few close ones. Below is the reason why I chose to be bapitzed now, even though I've been a Christian for quite some time!

Why I (Sara Grace Paterson) am now being baptized. March 28, 2009

Recently I was attending a ladies retreat. I found the speaker to be difficult to listen to, and even more difficult to want to listen to. However, remembering a recent Bible study where there was talk of ‘respect’. I said to myself, Sara, God can speak through anyone, and so just ask him to speak to you through this woman and keep a good attitude towards her! Well…I did and He did. The most definite instance of him speaking to me was on the last session of the last day. We were talking about lamenting. We had to do our own personal lament to God and being the good student I did one. It was good, even though what I lamented about could seem trivial to others and unimportant to God, it was my lament. And actually, nothing is too trivial for God.

And then later when we did communion they told us that we would each go to a station individually and would receive our bread and drink from the two ladies serving there. They would also pray for us if we needed or wanted something specific prayed for, or they would just do a general prayer. I searched my heart, and suddenly I was firmly impressed upon that I needed prayer for my body. As I thought about that strange request (I was feeling rather healthy)…I though, hmm….my body. I know I gave my spirit to God long ago, and there has been such growth and development in my spirit. I have no doubt it belongs to God, he is my savior. But my body? I think I’ve kind of held onto my body. Most of my sin past and present is ‘bodily’. Indulgence, sexual sin, doing, going or having what I want when I want etc. I can do with it as I like, I don’t and really never have checked with God with regards to it. I control it, I abuse it, I heal it, I spoil it, I tear into it, I decide what goes in and out whether physical or emotional. I, I, I, my body is mine. I have not given it to God. Can that even be? Well, I think it can. But of course I am sure that in withholding my body from God, I also fetter my spirit.

So…then I went up for prayer…and I asked them to pray for my body, I told them I hadn’t given God my body, only my spirit. They prayed. I took communion, I went back to my seat. As I sat down I thought, I need to be baptized. I think it is right to do it. I need to physically give my body to God.
Baptism is an act I felt I would never do, never saw the point. Everyone knows I’m a Christian, I publically declare it. Why be baptized? I will be the token Christian who proves you can get to heaven without doing it.
But now…now, I felt I wanted to be baptized. I wanted to take a step that would declare to myself that my body belongs to the Lord, it is obedient to him. (willing to be obedient but in need of his power to learn to do so)
So, I also noted to my self and to God, that I did not expect my baptism to be a cure-all. I know that my body is rebellious (or rather my mind, which controls my body is rebellious) but as I lay down my body to Christ, and have him wash over it with the water…it will be a visual, physical symbol that I am beginning. I am choosing to offer my body as a living sacrifice. I am willing to have God step in and begin to change my body. To change my mind in how I treat my body, to change my mind in how I control my body. I am giving God the reins so that he can begin to lead me…BODY and soul. Do you get what I am saying? I don’t expect perfection or some sort of brilliant change. But I know that there is one, already. My awareness of my withholding from God, and my determination to give myself to him fully, but knowing it won’t be my determination…but instead his spirit at work within me. And this step of obedience directed by Him is the beginning of that. I am excited to move deeper in my relationship with him and see what he does with me now. He and I have a lot of work to do together J but I truly am excited about it, and as you know I do not get excited easily.

I wanted dad to baptize me because he is and always will be my pastor, in the truest, most respectful and beloved meaning of the word. I also wanted mom to be a part of my baptism because she always KNEW me and loved me. She moved me into and through my relationship with Christ thus far with her prayers and her presence in my life. She is one with my spirit and I trust her explicably.

And last but not least I wanted John to be here. As he is my life now. He wasn’t there through the beginning stages of my life, he did not give me the spiritual heritage that my parents did, but he did choose to love and accept me as I am almost 9 years ago. And he is the one who will be my closest ally as I begin this new leg of my journey with Christ. It won’t be an easy one, he too knows how rebellious my mind/body are. But I want to make sure he knows that I am choosing to cleave to him, not my family, as I take this step forward. Through sickness and health, through good times and bad, till death…

I wanted all my family here, because each one of them has made an absolutely profound impression upon my life and walk with the Lord. However, I knew my lack of planning and notification and then simply distance in some cases would make that impossible. And friends, who have walked with me along my journey were welcome and wanted in my heart, but their absence is really, well mostly chalked up to distance, and my not even bothering to ask because of such. However, some of them are at this time praying for me knowing what will be taking place and for each one of them I am truly blessed.

However, I also know that ultimately this is between me and God. It always boils down to that. And I’m greatful for that. So…without further ado, I will hand this over to dad.